


On Getting a Boyfriend

by WolfyWordWeaver



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Slice of Life, Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:49:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27884041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfyWordWeaver/pseuds/WolfyWordWeaver
Summary: Severus hates being around people generally but has somehow found himself a boyfriend thanks to his best friend Lily and her queerplatonic partner.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Severus Snape
Comments: 7
Kudos: 90





	On Getting a Boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

> I present to you a migraine induced one-shot inspired by [this](https://miss-mara.tumblr.com/post/636558188678938624) post on Tumblr that made me laugh and then bloomed out into this fic that I had to write down. Done in mostly one sitting and not edited. This goes to you Snack Discord friends.

Severus was drinking his tea nervously as the large group of honor students chatted politely with the faculty around several large tables in the ballroom. It was a weekly occurrence that headmaster Dumbledore had begun years before in an attempt to build stronger camaraderie among the elite academics at the university. All the university levels mingled at these dinners which allowed wide-eyed Freshman to get encouragement and invaluable study/application advice from the upper classmen. 

Academics had never really been a struggle for Severus, but he was thankful for his friendship with the wealthy and highly esteemed Lucius Malfoy which promised future grants for his research into whatever branch of Chemistry he decided to pursue. However, Dumbledore and all the faculty attended these dinners to also ensure that the students were enjoying a healthy social life and not falling into the trap of being consumed by nothing but studying and their grades. 

It was obvious that Albus had a special eye out on him from the start and Severus wondered if it was his all black attire or the piercings or even the side-swept choppy hair cut with the green streaks that screamed "anti-social" to the old man. Dumbledore wasn't wrong, but still, while Severus had never really been all that keen on being around people in general he still wasn't out to kill anyone or deface property. 

That one incident with magnesium, a Bunsen burner, and a bucket of water notwithstanding.

"How have you been this past week?" the old man asked kindly and with a twinkle of his pale blue eyes. "Make any new friends?"

Feeling the stupid urge to blush, Severus tried to remain calm and deliver his reply as evenly and nonchalantly as he practiced in front of the mirror for the last few days.

"I...I have a boyfriend now."

Several sets of eyebrows rose and both Professor McGonegall and Headmaster Dumbledore looked surprised.

"A boyfriend?" the man asked.

Anxiety shot through the young man's entire system and his body went into its most basic default mode, something that he had absolutely no control over. Sarcasm and wit (and the occasional fist) had been Severus' tools of survival through his years of schooling and in that moment his lizard brain decided that the appropriate way to respond to the man's incredulity was to throw out the peace sign. Not even kawaii like the cutesy foreign exchange girls, but the straight up hippy V-is-not-for-victory.

"Two boyfriends?" Dumbledore responded immediately and with a bit more incredulity.

Rabastan snorted and immediately choked on his dessert while Lucius proceeded to spray his drink across the table and all over the laughing Amycus Carrow.

"Gentlemen!" Professor McGonegall chided before she elbowed Headmaster Dumbledore.

Severus wished he could just sink into the floor. "No sir, er, just the one."

Lucius dabbed at his moist eyes as he continued to snicker and Amycus gave the blond man a solid kick from under the table.

"Oh, okay," Dumbledore responded a bit more calmly. "That's wonderful news, Severus. I apologize for the misunderstanding."

"What's his name?" McGonegall asked politely.

Feeling his cheeks burn a bit more, Severus pressed on. "It's...Sirius Black."

*****

Really, how did Lily always attract these kinds of guys? James Potter was the bright glaringly opposite type of person that Lily liked. He was nothing like Severus.

Tall, stocky, athletic, _loud_ , and practically exuding just how much money he had. Thankfully, Lily rebuffed his attentions and Severus felt himself calm again. He thanked the universe that his best friend since childhood was a greysexual aromantic who didn't put up with the bullshit attention that most men threw at her and Severus was spared the drama of broken hearts and obsessive crushes that plagued most females. 

He had enough emotional turmoil in his own poor gay heart to deal with and not much capacity for more.

But then, horror of horrors, this James Potter took the hint and flipped a switch. He started becoming friendly, and it was the type of friendly that Lily appreciated. He listened to her rants, and unlike Severus, actually offered silly and witty responses that made her laugh. He wasn't overly sarcastic or socially stunted. He offered to take her to parties and was gentlemanly enough to keep the other guys off her back if she wanted his backup.

James freaking Potter was more than happy to just be her friend and it drove Severus crazy.

But he was an _adult_ and was not going to put all his fears and insecurities on his best friend. They shared an apartment with their Honors scholarship stipend and talked things out like the lifelong friends they were and Severus decided that he just needed to swallow down his jealousy and be happy that she was finding other friends, especially those who were more comfortable doing things that he hated (like going to parties). It was really a win-win situation, and even though Severus was certain that he would never grow friendly with this vivacious young man he was content to let Lily have her fun and be her own person.

And then the second semester of their Freshman year hit and she was now referring to James Potter as her queerplatonic partner. Which meant that James Potter was now being invited to their apartment and as Severus quickly learned, if you were in a partnership with James, you were in a partnership with his whole damned harem.

It was one thing to hear Lily laugh about the codependency of the crowd that always followed Potter around, and it was another thing completely to witness it first-hand in your apartment. The roars of the motorcycle was the first indication that Severus was way out of his comfort zone and the loud crowd of boys that marched into the place at the greeting of Lily was the second indication only to be quickly followed up by the third one: matching leather jackets.

Severus had immediately slunked off to his room and hidden away for the rest of their rowdy visit. 

On their third visit he was in desperate need of hydration and had to risk their presence in order to get to the kitchen for some water. It was in that very tiny kitchen that his whole life was flipped on its back like a sad turtle doomed to die on the highway. There in front of the fridge was the one whose leather jacket read "PADFOOT" in bold white lettering.

Dangerously tall, broad shoulders, thick black hair that shimmered in the poor lighting, and the requisite facial scruff that screamed I-am-a-bad-boy-and-you-will-regret-any-involvement-with-me-but-love-it-anyway.

And those blasted grey eyes that put Jell-o in place of his usual knee joints.

The devilish grin only sealed his doom, and Severus knew that he was in trouble.

It was the beginning of the end to his resistance of the Marauders, as they referred to themselves. Getting to know them better only made things more confusing, but he learned that not everything had to really make sense. Remus was the odd mixture of literary cinnamon roll and absolute feral mess of a human being who tended to like to wear soft sweaters and second hand clothing to distract others from seeing the dumpster fire that was his true self. He ran interference for the group by pretending to be the sensible one that held the fools back from unspeakable stunts and pranks when the more accurate truth was that he probably had very little ability to reign in the chaos of James and Sirius so he tended to just egg them on instead.

Peter was about as bland as a vanilla cupcake with no frosting and whose short but plump figure meant that he could only really ride a Grom motorcycle, but inexplicably he could make the rest of the crew roar with laughter and they never once put him down for not being able to ride the bigger and more boisterous bikes. They _liked_ him, even when he wore khakis and a polo shirt under the leather jacket, and there were plenty of study nights at the Evans-Snape home where he watched them help the boy through his work. 

It was bizarre.

Even more bizarre was when they started spending some nights over (Remus and Peter in Lily's bed, Lily and James on the couch) Sirius had made a point of worming his way into Severus' bed. The first night it happened Severus hadn't been able to sleep a wink and just tried to keep himself as close to the wall as he could while watching the other for any untoward moves or behavior. Sirius had just fallen asleep and was blissfully rested by the next morning when he strutted out of Severus' room in his t-shirt and bikini briefs to cook breakfast for the rest of them. 

Who the fuck wore bikini briefs?!

...guys who had legs like that did. 

The Marauders started spending nights once a week and pretty soon Severus found that staying up all night in suspicion was not worth the effort. On those nights he'd wake up warm and comfortable, secretly enjoying the way that their bare legs would tangle under the sheets. Severus had taken to wearing only boxers and a tank top to sleep on those nights.

On the nights that he and Lily would make it to the boys' place (a glorious 4 bed, 4 bath house that should have been too expensive for any Freshmen to afford) Severus found himself being (willingly) dragged to Sirius' room where they would continue arguing over politics, academic policies, social constructs, and everything else under the sun before crawling into bed together and kicking at each other's legs while trying to stifle their laughter.

It was as the semester was drawing to a close that Sirius got side swiped on the highway by a car that wasn't paying attention and ended up in a sleeping pill stupor at his house. Severus went to the Marauder's Den without Lily for the first time and spent the next few nights and days tending to the exhausted and in pain man. Severus still hated being around other people in general. He still had a lousy attitude and preferred studying about chemical reactions and microbes over watching movies with ridiculous premises, and he was even more frightened of motorcycles than he had been when the boys first showed up on them. 

But he realized that he cared enough about Sirius that he had to say something. 

Maybe Freshman year was all that they would have and James and Lily would move on over the summer and away from each other. Maybe by Junior year when everyone was settling into their vastly different degree programs there wouldn't be as much of a chance to hang out or topics in common they could really talk about. Maybe nothing would come of it at all, but an "I'm sorry, I don't feel the same way."

So on a Sunday morning when everything was still and quiet and Sirius was blinking blearily at Severus in the privacy of his (their?) bed, the young chemist whispered the words he'd been practicing in the mirror for days.

"As much as it pains me to admit it, I like you."

Soft lips curled in a lopsided grin.

"Yeah?"

"Unfortunately."

Severus counted himself fortunate that he wasn't outright rejected.

"What do you want to do about it?" Sirius asked, grey eyes a bit more alert than they had been a few moments earlier.

"I...well..."

Now he was blushing and Sirius was chuckling, something that was quite a bit different than his usual loud bark of a laughter. Ribs were still healing so he probably couldn't laugh like that without being in a lot of pain. 

"Do you want to be in a queerplatonic relationship too?" Sirius teased softly. "Or do you want me to romance and fuck your socks off?"

A strangled noise of embarrassment squeaked past Severus' lips before he managed to wrangle his own vocal cords into control.

"Who's to say that I won't fuck _your_ socks off?" he snapped back defensively. 

Sirius' eyes widened in surprise and for the first time in their interactions a blush burned on those golden cheeks. It was a look that Severus found he desperately wanted to see more often.

"Well, then," Sirius giggled. "Have at it, Sev. You are welcome to fuck the socks right off of me anytime you'd like."

"Ugh, we need to drop the whole socks thing while talking about sex," Severus groaned before the two of them started snickering. "And really, you need to do some of this 'romancing' thing before I start giving you any kind of below the belt action."

Large hands came up to hold Severus' face and he felt the burn of a blush once more. "How about some above the belt action?" Sirius whispered softly.

Once he was given a nod of consent, their lips were pressed against each other's.

Severus had finally managed to get a boyfriend and he couldn't wait to finally have something to say about his social life the next time Dumbledore asked him at the weekly Honor's College Dinner. 


End file.
